The Battle Is On

Hi You! Thanks for coming back to visit. It has brought much joy to my heart to know you care. It is wonderful to know that I am not alone. Having you here has given me strength and hope.

I am staring out the window into the cloudy dark sky. I tend to wonder what others are doing right this minute. It is not even people I know either. I just wonder. Today is cold and rainy. It is fair to say it is a gloomy day. But I am so happy. I feel that I have been given the okay to press on in my life. It is a new day for me and my family. But I cannot help but wonder about those who did not get good news this day. I pray for them as I thank God for allowing me to move forward in this war I have waged.

As you know today was the last day of tests. I cannot even begin to tell you how glad I am that the tests are over. I know that people have always said that No News is Good News but I still worried. I told you in my last entry that it was a life changing year. Oh and believe me, it is.

My first steps on destroying Mr Panic (I wonder why I said Mr and not Mrs. Isn't that weird how we subconsciously do or say things? What does it mean? Hmmm?) Anyway, my first steps were to see my doctors and rule out any physical obstacles. I made a list of what I needed to begin doing.
Step 1. Set Appt to see my doctors (Check),
Step 2. Take tests requested by my doctors (Check),
a. Brain MRI (Normal) Check,
b. Head MRI (Normal) Check,
c. Echo Cardiogram (Normal) Check,
d. Chest/Lung Cat Scan (Normal) Check,
e. Stress Test (Normal) Check
Oh my goodness, all these tests. Today was the last of the test, the STRESS TEST. Can we say "Out Of Shape"? LOL. As the treadmill begun to climb and my steps grew in stride I could feel my heart pounding and my blood racing. But I was doing ok. As I breathed harder and ran faster I could hear my better half giggle at me. But what an experience. It was scary, tiring and felt good all at the same time. Then my number dropped. The look on the faces of my doctor and nurse showed concern. I have to tell you I was scared but kept running. Then they decided it was a mechanical error. Whew, dodged a bullet!!! I was to continue the test for 11 minutes as per my age. I hit 10 minutes 20 seconds. Ok not great but not bad. I now have some peace of mind.

As you know that with Panic/Anxiety peace of mind does not come easy. I joke with my partner and tell her that at least we know I am just crazy. I know that I'm not but it can sure feel that way sometimes. It is a feeling of complete lack of control of your own body and mind. I know now that having all my tests come out normal I will not be stopped. I am in this war til the end.
So now on to step 3.
Step 3. New Healthy Diabetic Diet with portion control
Step 4. Exercise 30 Minutes Daily
Step 5. Become more educated on my condition (You can never be to knowledgeable of your disorder)
Step 6. Get at least 7 hours of sleep.

Well, those are my steps. I can do this! I can change my life for the better! I am in control of my life. I believe in God so I know I am not alone. I know because of you that I am not alone. I will do this.

I will try to update everyday. Life can sometimes move time a little faster then we expect. If I don't get to update daily I will update once a week. We can do this together. Thank you my friend for being here. I will talk to you soon.